A weird thing we learn when we’re kids is that when you make a wish, by blowing out a candle or on a dandelion, is that we have to keep our wish a secret, or it won’t come true.

And most of us don’t question it, and we keep our biggest hopes and dreams a secret. It makes us feel like we’re going to jinx our hopes and dreams by speaking them out loud, and instead of finding allies who can support us in bringing our dreams to live, we quietly wonder whether they’re even possible, whether we’re worthy of them, whether we’ll ever be able to make them come true.

For years, I did the same thing – I didn’t dare to talk about my projects, partly because my big, lofty plans and goals seemed so far off from where I was that I worried they made me sound arrogant at worst, or slightly nutty at best. When you struggle to find the time to sit down and write because you’re busy with kids and a full-time job, how do you justify your dreams of being a bestselling author with a movie deal? When you’re starting to learn French and stumbling along understanding the difference between the imperfect and the passé composé, how do you get excited about your big dream of living and working in France, speaking fluent French? The dream itself can make you feel like an impostor.

But let me let you in on a secret. The best thing you can do for yourself is to get a cheerleader, who can hype you up and get you excited about pursuing your dream. Someone who believes in you, but who isn’t going to tell you to happy-feel your way into it. Because if something is truly worth having, it will take time, and energy, and possibly money – significant investments from you. The trick is that no matter how many times you wonder whether or not you can do it, you have to get excited again about doing the work to get there, and the things that you learn and the ways you grow along the way.

Your dreams don’t come true by keeping them a secret. They come true by you speaking them with your whole heart.